WEAPONDEREPLAY

I’m starting to think you might actually be insane. I refuse to believe ANYONE is as stupid as you seem. I pour over your words, and think to myself, ‘it’s gonna make sense at some point, it has to, surely no one this utterly devoid of intellect would be allowed near a computer, let alone an internet connection’, and yet it never does. It’s almost horrible to be a part of, like those auditions on reality tv shows, where you just think to yourself ‘why why why, what is wrong with these people, hasn’t anyone told them that they can’t sing, or can’t dance, or that they look more like Freddie Jackson that Janet Jackson’. Look, i honestly feel bad for you, and since you obviously don’t have adult supervision, (which you clearly need btw), i am going to break it down for you, in little bite size nuggets, so that we can try to maybe squeeze a few thoughts into that big empty space where your brain should be. So, i’ll take your brilliantly conceived and wonderfully insightful grievances, highlight them and then try to explain to you, as best i can, why you are mistaken (mistaken means wrong btw).

Deep breath…

1. “It’s not like you to complain about pictures of half naked girls now is it?”

I’m not complaining about pictures of half naked girls, i am complaining about half naked pictures of you.

2.”The message did not hit close to home, the message was an utter pile of wank. I just have the balls to tell you what loads of others are thinking. My self esteem is far from low, I can assure you that, as for insulting my intellect, well that’s just funny.”

This whole part, just doesn’t make any sense huni. I’m pretty sure that you actually do have balls, yes, but the whole point with a debate, or counter argument, is that you have to explain WHY the thing that you disagree with is wrong. You can’t just say something is shit. You have to explain WHY you think it is shit, and hopefully in a way which makes your opponent possibly reconsider his or her original stance.

Instead of that paragraph, you might as well have just written “I am a tool” over and over, cause it would have had just as much relevance. It’s like me messaging you saying “I’m not a prick cause everyone who knows i’m not, knows i’m not. Everyone says i’m awesome, i can assure you that and if you think i’m a hypocrite then that’s just suuuper funnny lulzy cityyy, cause i’m not, cause everyone says i’m not and they say that you are the one with the stupid head.”

Any of this resonating with you at all champ?

Just because you say “i assure you” after something, doesn’t mean that i am going to turn around and think…

‘damn, i thought my original conclusion was correct, but now she has assured me that i am wrong, i simply must be. I mean she has ‘assured’ me that i am wrong. I don’t need any more proof, and i certainly don’t need any reasons or examples why. This girl’s assurance is ALL i need to know that i am, indeed, wrong.’

Anything? You still with me?……….K…onwards…..

Insulting your intellect would infer that you actually had some intellect to begin with, which, unfortunately i think we both know wasn’t the case. So, way to go on that Brown Owl.

3”If you feel my comments don’t matter, then why even bother taking the time to reply?”

Ok, another important thing to remember when putting forward a counter argument, is that you can’t just make things up. Even more so, you can’t make them up about the statement you are challenging, to the person who wrote the statement that you are challenging. He or she will probably have a pretty good idea of what they said, so pretending that they said things they didn’t isn’t gonna turn the tide, or do anything for peoples already low opinion of you. It’s just gonna make your opponent think you are actually fully fucking tripping balls and everyone else wonder how you aren’t dead yet.

With that in mind, let me just reiterate, I didn’t say that your comments don’t matter, i said that you can’t argue a point and say that something is wrong, without offering the reason and examples of why you think it is wrong. Just saying something is shit, isn’t enough little one.

4.”Stop being a keyboard warrior and hiding behind your computer, because I know you wouldn’t dream of talking like this to a fans face.”

I’m guessing by this point, we have discarded all notions of plausibility and reality and you are actually on a Star Destroyer, from Planet Porkie Pie, setting course on a carefree bombing mission of Planet Reality, using wild, fabricated accusations and completely made up allegations as your weapons of choice. I say this, simply because none of things you say, are even vaguely in the realm of being true. They don’t even live in Maybe City. If anyone even thought about fact checking the things you say, their hands and minds would shrivel up and the computers would explode and melt before they could get anywhere near them. Due to the fact that for anyone to even consider that bullshit like this could be true, would mean they were either possessed by really shit demons, or having a full on psychotic episode, in which case, shriveled hands and melted circuitry would be by far the more appealing option.

I understand, that when you are scared or threatened and can’t think of anything to say, the best option seems to be, just use whatever insult or accusation leveled at ones self, back at the accuser. This is fine in most cases, but sadly, sometimes, the statement you copy and repeat back to someone, not only might not be valid, sometimes it might be so utterly, utterly, mind numbingly ridiculous and facile that it would make George W. Bush’s spoken word foibles look like the epiphanies of Plato and the teachings of Ghandi. Hate to be the bearer of bad news here kid, but this is one of those times…..

Accusing me of hiding behind my computer, is stupid. Stupid on a level i didn’t even know existed. A level i have a hard time comprehending. I’m sitting here trying to wrestle with the concept of someone being this stupid, and it won’t compute. I had an easier time reading about quantum physics and string theory. Steven Hawking would be hard pushed to quantify this puppy, let alone my tired brain. A word that sums up how completely oblivious and just downright stupid you seem, doesn’t exist. Simply for the fact that if it did, even writing it would probably cause a rip in time and space, form a black hole and then suck all living matter into it, to be crushed by the weight of nothingness and shit ‘sexy’ self portrait candid pictures. Your comment is stupid. Stupid, because, accuse me of what you will, the one thing you are gonna have a hard time making stick in court, is the fact that i have any level of anonymity and therefore an ability to hide behind anything, let alone a computer. I use my real name. You don’t. If anyone wants to come find me, all they have to do is turn up to one of our shows or a DJ set. Those things are advertised, and are pretty much sure fire ways to know where i will be. 

I could go on and on, but even i’m getting bored now…..

So, yeah, you know i wouldn’t dream of talking like this to a fan, blah blah blah.. Well, you don’t know that do you? There’s no way you could know it, because it’s not true. Anything i say on here, i say to people’s faces. I’m pretty sure the one thing that pisses people off with me, is that i won’t back down and i will speak my mind, regardless. In person, in concert, in cyberspace, in utero. 

Finally…

5.”You’re a hypocrite and you need to accept that.”

Ah, back to this again. I think you have all got the gist by now, that saying things like this just makes you look like a muppet. Princess Pea, or Cindy, or Dave, whatever your name is, if you still don’t understand, then i don’t think you ever will. I could finish off by saying “You’re a homophobic, racist, bigot and you need to accept that”, it would be no more pathetic than what you wrote, but i won’t. 

In closing, let me say this. I don’t need to accept anything honey, least of all the ramblings of a poorly educated, cowardly bully like yourself. How about you grow up a little and stop picking on people just because they like something or someone you don’t.  If you want to take this up with me in person, hit me up with your contact details and address. Easy. I’m sure picking on people for things that they like, seems like a lot of fun now, but time has a funny way of skull fucking you in the future, when you least expect it. I am genuinely saddened that people like you exist. I don’t know what hope there is for society as a whole, when the loudest voices for the future tend to be loudmouthed, precocious, disgusting bully’s like yourself, but, i guess time will tell. Everyone can change right?

(Aside)

So there we have it. Yes it may seem a tad excessive, and possibly unwarranted, but it wasn’t solely this clown i was speaking to. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and so became the mascot for all the idiotic douchebags of this cyber realm. I’m not going to focus anymore attention on her or give her anymore of the limelight that she seems to yearn for so badly. I have made my point, and she has made herself look like a complete twat.

Until next time….

XXX